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IT'S A BOY!
Laszlo Mars LeCroy
traveled from the infinite to life, the finite.
He was born at home on
April 14th 2003 at 3:00am,
weighing 9lbs. 15oz.
Laszlo Mars LeCroy's Birth Story
(this is a true graphic story and it has blood and specific details
in it so do not read if you are squeamish)
The due date was April 7th 2003. My own birthday is April 10th 1973. I was sure I’d have my second baby before I turned 30. The weekend of March 29th I had strong contractions and was sure I’d give birth very soon, certainly within the next few days . The winter weather finally let up a bit and on every beautiful day I took long walks, sometimes 50 blocks. I wanted to get things moving, we were excited to meet our baby. For 9 months I had carried this little person in my body but I would not feel like I held it until this person came outside of me into my arms. I was completely holding the baby for months but it would take the contact of my hands for me to feel that I had touched it. My fingers ached to know the texture of this baby’s skin. My eyes pried open my dreams to get a glimpse of the face. The mystery consumed me. Dorian & I were using all the labor inducing tricks anyone would tell us, sex, evening primrose oil, spicy food, long walks, stairs, bumpy car rides, raspberry leaf tea... I was so huge and uncomfortable. I weighed 200! pounds, 55 pounds more than my usual self. I gave birth to Alice at 193 pounds, so 200 wasn’t much more, but still, I never thought I’d see the scale tell me my weight starting with a 2! Quite an accomplishment- amazing at the least. I did lose all the weight I had gained with my first pregnancy so I had faith & confidence that my body would serve me well again. Mother Nature is awesome. It truly is a miraculous experience to have your body change so dramatically, so quickly. Humans are resilient! In my late pregnancy it was hard to breathe and get up and down and put on my shoes and I could hardly eat anything, my body was just so full. I missed rough-housing with Alice and hugging her and Dorian close, my big belly was always between us. I was acting terrible too, bad mood, I was starting to hate myself. I could only lay on my left side, I couldn’t sleep well, I had acid reflux so bad that I was eating Tums like m&m’s and drinking glasses of baking soda throughout the day. I was a spaced out wreck. In general I love being pregnant and feel really good. The first couple months are emotionally hard and tiring but after that I feel great and full of joy and energy. Then the last 2 months seem progressively physically grueling, but for the most part I enjoy pregnancy and am amazed by Mother Nature through the whole wild experience of it. It was really time for the new baby to come and join us on the other side.
I enjoyed these past few months with Alice Luna, my first child, in a special way. I knew it would be our last time together alone on an everyday basis. The end months were so precious, special and magic that it was hard to imagine letting go of our private everyday life together but I was also so excited to add all the love that a new little person would bring. I treasure my relationship with my own siblings so much that I was always sure I would give Alice that wonderful gift. We did not know if the baby was a girl or a boy. Alice, Dorian and I prepared as well as we could for our family to grow, we were all happy, excited and nervous about the big change coming upon us. I read Alice lots of books about becoming a big sister and I showed her a birth video that mesmerized her and really made her understand and appreciate how the baby is born. She plays giving birth and pushes out little babies now, it is so cute!!!!!!
The whole first week of April I had contractions every night, sometimes strong ones but never very regular for more than an hour. Each night I was more excited that “tonight was the night”. When the morning would come and I had no more contractions I’d be disappointed. April 7th came and went, my birthday approached and passed, I was pissed off the whole day that my baby didn’t come share it with me. I was feeling like I’d be pregnant forever - expectations are dangerous and my pregnant state was not making it easy for me to cheer up. April 13th is my Grandma, Alice Savino’s, birthday. On the 13th I was determined to give birth. My midwife, Linda, the same midwife who helped me deliver Alice Luna at home, could tell I was getting really frustrated. She recommended I take the homeopathic versions of black cohosh and blue cohosh throughout the day, Caulophyllum and Cimicifuga – I alternated taking each one every half hour throughout the day. It was gorgeous out and I took Alice Luna to the playground. Dorian came and his mother, Daniele (AKA: Mami or French Grandma) who was visiting for 2 weeks from CA in hopes of meeting her new grandchild. In the park I took a bad fall while holding Alice. I managed to land safely on my side, protecting both Alice & my abdomen but my right knee & elbow were bleeding and badly bruised. Things were shaken up. In the late afternoon my midwife came over to see how I was doing. She did an internal to see how dilated I was. I was 2 & ½ centimeters. She massaged my cervix with Evening Primrose Oil and in a matter of seconds I was 3cm and then 4 and then she said, “I am touching your baby’s head, Jane! Your baby is right there!” She was amazed at how easily and painlessly my cervix just opened. She told me I’d most likely go into labor that night, she was even reluctant to go home because she felt the birth was so close. She went home though, to take a nap to rest up for the birth. I was reluctant to believe I’d finally have the baby, I was afraid to get my hopes up but I couldn’t help it – I was really hoping! My brother Gary came over to share some amazing home-made flax/beer bread he had warm right from his oven (he’s a great culinary artist!) When he walked in I told him I’d go into labor at 8pm and would need his help that night, I had imagined in my birth plan that Alice would go to his apartment when labor started and it was just great to have Gary there, I had been nervous that labor would start and he wouldn’t be home. I was so glad he was with me. At 8pm nothing was happening but the same old nighttime contractions I was used to. Everybody was ordering dinner and I was mad because I felt like labor would start soon and I wanted everyone OUT of my house except for me & Dorian. I was anxious. I packed a bag of food, clothes, toys and a potty seat for Alice. I wanted Gary to take her to his apartment up the street. He could feel that something big was occurring and was wandering around the apartment saying he wanted to be useful but Dorian said for him to just eat his dinner so that he could take Alice. We all laughed.
Alice, Gary & Daniele all left together at around 10pm. As soon as they were gone I could focus and my contractions started to get stronger and more regular but I still wasn’t sure “this was it”. I called my mom to let her know Alice was with Gary and she should go be with them if she wanted. At around 11pm we called the midwife to warn her it seemed labor was real. We told her we’d call back in half an hour if everything started speeding up. It did. We called Linda back at 11:30 and she headed over. My mom stopped in. I wished I could have her share this experience but I really needed privacy, it happened like that for Alice too. I just needed to be alone to concentrate and the thought of anyone being there to witness it, besides my husband and the midwife, made my body feel like it would stop labor. My mom vacuumed the foyer (clean surfaces make me happy) and left. I felt bad that I couldn’t have her stay. I had also wanted a friend to photograph the birth but I just couldn’t call because I did not feel honestly comfortable inviting anyone to the birth. Dorian helped me get over the guilty feelings my conflicting desires were producing. I let everything but the present go. I started feeling like I was on drugs. I got elated and hyper aware of the colors and smells and textures around me. I gave Dorian lots of love and filled with appreciation. I felt strong and safe. I labored, walked, held the bathroom sink a lot and crawled around and used a big red ball to rest between contractions. I tried different positions and stayed focused on welcoming my baby. We were much more calm and prepared than the first time and everything felt peaceful and relaxed. I got in the pool that we set up in the kitchen. At around 12:30 the midwife came and I was in the water. I had thought I’d try to give birth in the pool but as I floated in the water I realized I had learned a lot from birthing Alice and many memories of it and realizations started hitting me. The water eased the pain of the contractions so much that it seemed to make them less effective. The warmth of the water also made me a bit sleepy. When I got out of the water my contractions felt more painful but also like they were moving things along faster. From then on I used the pool to go to for rest periods- to relax my muscles and gather strength. After a few intense contractions out of the water, I’d go into the water to catch my breath and really get ready to get out and make the most of my contractions. I tried out different positions around the apartment and really liked squatting near my bed the best. Dorian & I lowered our bed so that Alice could get into and out of it herself and the height was perfect for me to squat and lean on in order to be in a really comfortable and open birthing position. With Alice’s birth the worst pain I felt were these horrible thigh cramps I got. This time I consciously moved around and stretched out a lot throughout the intense part of labor in order to avoid any cramping. I felt so good about how conscious I was, and present, about giving birth. I was so overwhelmed by Alice’s birth and just didn’t know what was happening so it was hard for me to guide the labor. This time I felt very in control of it all and it was a super powerful feeling. Dorian & I were even having conversations throughout it all. It was surreal. I was in a wonderful altered state and it was truly magical. The midwives (Linda, brought an assistant, Virginia, who was really great!) mostly hung out in the living room while I labored in the kitchen, bedroom and bathrooms. I felt totally safe and had lots of privacy. This birth proceeded so calmly and both Dorian & I felt like we got to really enjoy it and be IN IT. At around 2:30AM I felt contractions strong enough to wipe me out. I went to the pool to collect my strength and let a couple contractions pass while I rested in the water- totally relaxing my muscles and almost dozing off to sleep. When I felt rested I got out of the water. I knew the baby was close. I went to the bedroom, I got on my knees and squatted leaning over my bed. Dorian sat on the bed and we held arms, it felt good to have him to pull against. A big contraction came and my water broke, a forceful splash on the floor, I looked down to see the spill mixed with some blood. Dorian went and got the midwives from the living room. A huge contraction was coming and the midwives came into the bedroom and helped me get comfortable, they put towels down and pillows under my knees and feet and massaged my thighs because they knew I was afraid of the thigh cramps happening. I asked Linda, “Should I think of pushing the baby out or should I think of letting the baby come out.” I was hoping she’d say – LET the baby come out, and that is what she did say. The idea of pushing doesn’t work for me- giving birth just doesn’t feel like pushing to me. Pushing is an action I would forcefully do but giving birth does itself- the contractions send the baby out, not me. It was a good feeling to let myself go and just trust my body to do its work. I just felt how much work this was and I was tired but I focused on the near future when I would be sleeping with my baby in my arms. Another contraction came and the baby’s head crowned, another came and the head came out, Linda said the baby was looking at her, another final contraction came and the body was delivered. The baby slipped out, just like Alice said it would after she saw the birth video I showed her. Four strong close contractions delivered the baby with a few deep grunts from me. Dorian looked at the clock, it was 3am exactly, on April 14th 2003. I turned to look at the baby. He was kind of blue and quiet. I was nervous but I knew everything was going to be fine. I started talking to the baby saying thank you for coming and that I was so excited to meet it and I loved it so much already. Linda massaged the baby and then it started a weak cry, stuff was clearing from it’s lungs and the cry got stronger. I asked if it was a girl or a boy and Linda said I’d have to be the one to check. The baby started breathing clearly and the color turned a nice pink and he looked less limp and more muscular and strong, all this happened in less than a few minutes. I got onto the bed and Linda passed the baby to me. I looked at his beautiful big body- he was so substantial! It was a boy and it made me realize I had thought it was a boy because I wasn’t that surprised. He was hardly bloody at all and vernix was in all his creases and he had that sweet fine layer of hair all over his body- lanugo. He had a dense, silky, dark head of hair and his eyes were a gray-blue. When I held him on my chest he began rooting right away, he crawled/squiggled to my breast and began nursing like a pro! It was amazing! Alice had taken about 20 minutes before she nursed and it had made me nervous, but little Laszlo just got right down to eating right away. His latch was perfect. He felt so strong and muscular, not like a new baby. Dorian cut the cord and a few moments later I delivered the placenta. It was really healthy looking and I felt so proud. During my pregnancies I really work hard to have a good diet, I count my protein and drink special pregnancy tea- a half gallon of it a day. I work hard to have a positive attitude and spend time visualizing and imagining the birth going well. It feels so good to have a great experience and healthy baby after all that work! I feel like I have learned so much about myself, nature, love, time...so many things.
Linda weighed the baby. He was 9 pounds and 15 ounces. My bleeding was still pretty heavy but I had no tears. Linda gave me some tinctures to help with the bleeding and then stayed in the living room to sleep. I was thankful for that because both me and Dorian were so exhausted and a bit nervous about my bleeding, it let us relax and get some sleep to know we weren’t alone. We slept until about 10 am. My bleeding slowed and I felt pretty good. For those of you who know Alice’s birth story, I did not eat part of the placenta this time. We were all just so tired we forgot and I’m sorry I did because the reason it is good to eat part of it is because it replaces some of the hormones you lose during the birth, your body goes through such a dramatic physical/chemical change. This change can lead to postpartum depression. With Alice I experienced NO depression but I did actually experience some intense waves of depression over the two weeks after Laszlo was born. I had the placenta in the freezer and wanted to have part of it but it was not appetizing to think of thawing it and cutting off a bit to eat- now that the intense state the birth put me in was over it seemed it would be impossible to eat. Next time I will remember to eat part of it! On Easter Sunday we buried both Alice’s placenta and Laszlo’s in my mother’s garden beneath a weeping cherry tree. They are united as siblings in a special way, we are united as a family and these are sweet times I know I will long for one day. Right now I am here with my babies Alice Luna Jeanine, Laszlo Mars and my husband, Dorian, aware of how lucky we are and how beautiful life is. Immense love and challenge and joy fill these days and I am thankful.
LASZLO MARS LECROY
DAY ONE
DAY TWO
DAY THREE