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from DRIVE BY MIND READER

IN RESPONSE TO THE POEM YOU HID
You speak of scarce things invading the dark
like love, stealing your breath
with its strange triumph and delicate strength.
The silence of the shadows
is only a version of the sound of dark
I hear it different: curling, roaring
as waves do, as wind does
thunder
but secretly,
because dark can't be traced.
And we're all tricked into believing cause and effect-
Physics poisoned the soul's discovery
of revolutionary alternative theories
explaining the origin of change.
My memories are different everyday
like all humans
and that is why I'm unreliable.
I am not sorry or holy
but I pretend to be
My favorite sky is always the one above me
because I do not pretend I'm not self centered
I only pretend things I know to be true
or that will be.
You have loaded speech
filled with offers and robberies
invitations hidden in the pronouns
I have looked at you
I think of what I was
I argue there is no greater than or less than
the Red Giant, the Blue Star
the super nova and the black hole are the same
For something to exist everything must exist
in the true universe that is god (gods)
one is many
and we are prophets
ushering in the sounds of an approaching era.
All endings are imminent.

DRIVE BY MIND READER

"DRIVE BY MIND READER"
Jane LeCroy

31 poems

Self Published © 1998

$8

THE CAMEL
Needing keeps us from having
we distance ourselves from our desires with wanting.
We can either bring our passion to ourselves
or want to.
In one life
we live many lives
If we open.

Portals let in so much light
but they reveal the infinite darkness
that fills
with no corners
is never filled.

We build walls to rest against
and revel in their ruins.
Memory
It's a myth that camels store water in their humps.
The water is in every cell,
the way memory is not in the mind alone
it is in every cell

expansive as the rain

Desire is the self with no map
Cartography is the skill of naming distance beautifully
with doors
choices
Vast unknowns without terror
the landscape pictured is resolution
no walls
only what we haven't drawn

We are guided if we are guides
The camel ride in the rain.

ISSUES OF LOYALTY
Beauty was my first and favorite
her pillow like body
to which plastic chubby arms and legs and head with blinking eyes were sewn.
She was the one who came on vacation with me
She was the one who went out trick or treating with me
She was the one I brought to where I lived all through my life, even now.
I came to possess many different dolls as many girls do.
With each new doll I felt an excited joy that was always followed by deep worry and guilt
How would I manage my time now?
To give each doll equal attention would be difficult and because I always loved Beauty best I felt disappointed in myself
for having a favorite.
My dolls are now all dusty creatures
piled at the foot of my bed at my father's house.
Except Beauty is with me
her face stained and eyelashes gone
her limbs long duct taped to her body.
I will never love another the way I love her
she has outlasted every one of my lovers
sticky men, fleshy damp and warm, soft wet lipped women
all talking up space,
disgusted by Beauty in her age of horror show light.
This doll will outlive me
and all those people who have come in and out of my life
my bed, there will be none as loyal as me.

from DRIVE BY MIND READER

CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE

Tomorrow will never come
now we are here in the present
we will be sitting with ourselves soon
not alone but lone
one only and machines all over
built by us

I am distracted and angry
I don't know why
but silence has left me
and I am
dreaming dreams disguised as reality
all the time
full of waiting.
All sounds strange when listened to.

What is any memory
without from the perspective
of the center of the universe?
Only a story / star far away.
I am only in me.

Boxes make spaces.
but the wide open sea is best
for fear or freedom.
the only two known states.

I live in both places
at once.
on time.

LOBSTER

I've been opened up
to be worked on like a car
that's been driven a long time
the miles piled up memories on the dashboard
I'm all parts now
mostly rusty, no good
I've been replaced before, piece by piece
I'm a stranger to myself
and I'm at the shop
being shopped.
My headlights are smashed
and I can't shine as I used to
my glove box holds yellowed papers stained by water
sticky coca cola rings collect dust
the vinyl seats cracked and shedding foam.
You rummage now
under the hood
carelessly separating
my insides with interest
like you were eating a lobster.